Well, I can't tell you an IRLP repeater I've used in NJ, because I've never operated form there

.
Here's how the IRLP repeater closest to me works:
1. Transmit: # # then the IRLP node number...the node of this repeater is 3686
2. Wait for the connect confirmation, 10-30sec.
3. Key up Transmitter, PAUSE 2 sec. before talking in to mic.
4. When your done with the QSO Key up your radio, Send DTMF Code: 73 to drop the link
That's it. Hope it helps...