I can see where you're going with this...
I'd just like to see you make some sucess over the effort.
You're making a simple dipole - only the 102" side needs something to work against - so the shield of the coax is not enough by itself - you'll need extra metal to do it.
You have the right concepts - just have to make the SHIELD of the COAX become your lower radials as shown in the middle graphic.
The shield from the coax cannot short out to the center - in this setup - for it could damage the radio from unable to get a good SWR period.
They usually go 4 "arms" and 1 vertical like the others show you in the diagrams.
You just need enough "image" from those radial arms to keep the SWR low enough.
The original idea just didn't give you enough counterpoise metal image to work with.