The Royal Wedding

[jazzsinger]

No kidding. I have never figured out what the "Royal Family" actually contributes to the well being of Great Britain.

not to put too fine a point on it "FUCK ALL"

 

[Wire Weasel]

Pics from today. After a night of binge Guinessing, I crawled out of bed around noonish and took a look around the neighborhood and scoped out the palace some.

This chap is in the room next door. Won't give me his name but says he like to sing jazz. The fancy lip goo is what the Royal Newlyweds are going to be throwing at....I mean....passing out to, the crowds from the carriage. Next is an exclusive peek at Kate's Wedding hair doo. That night the happy Prince is going to eat her....so I'm told. The hip chick is two doors down from me on the other side of the jazz singer. And last is a snap of the Palace Guards practicing for the big day.

Reporting live from London, this is your WWRF Royal Wedding Correspondent

 

[Wire Weasel]

The Guiness binge wacked me out until 3pm today. Oh goody, Tea Time.

My invite got me into Buckingham after tea and I was able to get some snaps of the Royal Finery being made ready for Friday.

1st pic is the King's Jeweled Crown. Next pics are of the Prince's Family Jewels. Last pic is the Royal Cheetos Cheerleaders in a photo op with some of the Prince's Jewels

 

[Wire Weasel]

Touring the Royal Fooderey, I saw being prepared the commemorative dish that everyone is going to be served at the Royal Reception. Everyone is going to get an 80cm William & Kate Personal Pan Pizza. Seems the dashing Prince won't be the only one eating the lovely Kate on her wedding day. Jolly good. Then in the Grand Hall I bumped into His Fancy Highness, The Archbishop of Canterbury, gettin' his freak on about the upcoming blessing...for the good of the people.

 

[mackmobile43]

Everyone please welcome the Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge.

 

[Wire Weasel]

There's a new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge? Oh blood hell. Well what happened to the old Duke and Duchess of Cambridge? I really liked them. They were swell folks.

Anywho...I'm off to get in the que in this big street to watch the Royal Procession as it chums by. Hopefully I can snag a glance at all the things and maybe the Royal Young'uns will throw one of those Cheestos Lip Balms (see previous pic) at me. The odd fellow staying at the room next to me at the London Lodge (previous pics) who still won't say his name but still says he likes to sing jazz, is tagging with, along with the short haired chick from the next room down (previous pics). She's still toting her bag of crunchy Cheetos, which is the preferred Official Munchie of this Royal TV Special, and she has cleaned up rather nicely for the event. The jazz singer, who kept us up all night by the way singing his many jazzes, is still pretty dang drunk and I'm hoping he doesn't barf all over the lovely streets here in beautiful London.

So me and the chick get to the place in the que where the bobbies are telling us to stand and to waiting for the Royal Procession. While we're waiting we hear this noise approaching and turn to see the drunken jazz singer come bouncing along as if he is riding a horse and banging two coconut shells together. The following is bits of the chat we had standing in the que while waiting and waiting for the god damn Royal Procession to get here. It's turned out to be a rather long and rambling drunken discourse so I will break it into bits to avoid the posting timeout here on the forum.

 

[Wire Weasel]

Jazz Singer - Hey old woman!

Me - That's man

JS - Oh, man...sorry. What knight lives in this castle?

Me - I'm 37

JS - Well I can't just call you - man

Me - Well, you could say Dennis

JS - Well, I didn't know you were called Dennis

Me - Well, you didn't bother to find that out did you?

JS - I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman' but from behind you looked like...

Me - What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.

JS - Well I AM the King

Me - Oh KING eh? 'an 'owd you get that? By exploiting the workers by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society? If there's ever going to any progress...

Chick steps in - Hello, how'd you do?

JS - How do you do good lady. I am Authur, King of the Britons.

Chick - You're drunk! .... King of the who?

JS - The Britons!

Chick - Who are the Britons?

JS - Well, we all are. We're all Britons and I am your King.

Chick - I didn't know we had a King. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

Me - You're foolin' yourself. We're livin' in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the workin' classes....

Chick - Oh there you go - bringing class into it again...

Me - That's what it's all about! If only people would listen.....

Next page

 

[Wire Weasel]

JS - Please - please good people. I am in haste! Who lives in that castle?

Chick - No one lives there

JS - Then who is you lord?

Chick - Jesus Christ is my Lord

JS - No , no....your OTHER lord

Me - Look I told you, we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

JS - Yes

Me - But all decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting

JS - Yes , I see

Me - By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...

JS - Be quiet

Me - But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more....

JS - Be quiet !! I order you to be quiet !!

Chick - Order eh?... who does he think he is?


Next page

 

[Wire Weasel]

JS - I am your King !

Chick - Well I didn't vote for you.

JS - You don't vote for kings

Chick - Well 'owd you become King then?

Then the jazz singing guy turned and got a faraway look in his eyes and said:

JS - The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur....that is why I am your King.

Me - Listen....strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony.

JS - BE QUIET !!

Me - Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you.

JS - SHUT UP !!

Me - I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away.

JS - Shut up !! Will you shut up you bloody peasant !!

Me - Did ya hear that? What a bloody give away. Did you hear him repressing me?

 

[Wire Weasel]

Mercy sakes, as this ridiculous diversion was taking place the god damn Royal Procession had passed by and we missed everything god dammit. Maybe I can muck about on the ground and find one of those souvenir Cheetos Lip Balms and maybe later I can dig a hunk of that personal pan pizza with Kate's face still on half in a trash bin or somewhere. 'Cause I sure would like to eat Kate today. Those royal Prince's have all the fun.

What a waste. I'm catchin' the next flight back.

 

[Wire Weasel]

Last pic. My ass jetting away from this dump of a town. 1st Class airfare all the way on the ol' WWRF credit card...thanks to all you Premium Subscribers. See y'all back in the states. We'll have more fun later. I promise !! :w00t:

 

[mackmobile43]

Make us proud.

 

[trailboss]

By not inviting Barry and Michelle it certainly added more class to the ceremony.
Five minutes after being in the White House, Barak sent the bust of Churchill that was a gift from the British government to the White house back.

No class....

Plus Barak would probably think everyone was there to adore him.

 

[74IN]

A nice pic of the grooms Grandpa, Prince Phillip, at Nazi funeral in 1937.

Philip's Relatives Work for the SS

The husband of Philip's sister Sophie, Prince Christoph, was embraced by the Nazis, who saw him as a channel to the appeasement faction in Britain epitomized by King Edward VIII. Joining the Nazi Party in 1933, by 1935 Prince Christoph was chief of the Forschungsamt (directorate of scientific research), a special intelligence operation run by Hermann Göring, and he was also Standartenführer (colonel) of the SS on Heinrich Himmler's personal staff. The Forschungsamt used electronic intelligence-gathering methods to police the Nazi Party, while working with the Gestapo against the Catholic Church, the Jews, and labor organizations. When rumors of homosexuality spread against Capt. Ernst Roehm of the Stormtroopers, Himmler turned to the Forschungsamt's eavesdroppers, and ordered the ``Night of the Long Knives'' as a result. The eldest of Prince Christoph and Sophie's children was named Karl Adolf, after Hitler. Later, Prince Philip would promote his education. Prince Christoph's brother, Philip of Hesse, married a daughter of the King of Italy, and became the official liaison between the Nazi and Fascist regimes.
Four years after Prince Philip left Schloss Salem to attend Gordonstoun Academy in Scotland, on Nov. 16, 1937, Philip learned that his sister Cecilia and her husband Georg Donatus, hereditary grand duke of Hesse-by-Rhine, had crashed in one of Göring's Junker aircraft on a trip to London for Georg's brother's wedding. According to the British magazine Private Eye, the funeral became a gathering point for leading Nazis and their appeasers. Prince Philip himself developed secretive ties with King Edward VIII, continuing after Edward was deposed in 1938.
In fact, one of the central figures in the 1930s Nazi-British back-channel was Philip's uncle and sponsor, Lord Louis Mountbatten (originally, Battenberg, a branch of the House of Hesse). Until he was forced to abdicate, King Edward VIII enjoyed the full backing of ``Dickie'' Mountbatten. Through much of World War II, secret channels of communication were maintained between the British royal family and their pro-Hitler cousins in Germany, by Lord Mountbatten, through his sister Louise, who was crown princess of pro-Nazi Sweden. Louise was Prince Philip's aunt.
Although Buckingham Palace's rumor mill has tried to depict this wartime collaboration with the enemy as mere family correspondence, the channel apparently included messages from Prince Philip's secret ally, the Duke of Windsor (the former Edward VIII). On Nov. 20, 1995, the Washington Times reported, based on recently discovered Portuguese Secret Service files first published in the London Observer, that the Duke of Windsor had been in close collaboration with the Nazis in Spain and Portugal to foment a revolution in wartime Britain, that would topple the Churchill government, depose his brother King George VI, and allow him to regain the throne, with Queen Wallis [Simpson, the American divorcée, for whom he abdicated the throne] at his side. Portuguese surveillance revealed that Walter Schellenberg, head of Gestapo counterintelligence, was one point of contact in this plot. After Schellenberg met with the Spanish ambassador to Portugal, Nicolás Franco, brother of fascist Gen. Francisco Franco, Ambassador Franco told a Portuguese diplomat: ``The Duke of Windsor, free from the responsibilities of the war, in disagreement with English politicians, could be the man to put at the head of the Empire.''
Whatever correspondence was hidden in Sophie and Prince Christoph's Kronberg Castle, King George VI, in June 1945, felt compelled to dispatch the former MI-5 officer turned ``Surveyor of the King's Pictures,'' Anthony Blunt, to gather up the correspondence. Queen Elizabeth II reportedly insisted that there be no interrogation of Blunt about his secret trip to the castle. Otherwise, it is notable that starting with an exchange between King George VI and President Eisenhower, the House of Windsor has been desperate to keep classified those documents from Kronberg Castle that fell into American Army hands, long beyond the normal length of time. Clearly, Prince Philip's patron Lord Dickie Mountbatten, Mountbatten's sister Crown Princess Louise, and Philip's brother-in-law Prince Christoph of Hesse were not just exchanging Christmas greetings.



The Nazi Roots of the House of Windsor

 

[74IN]

Runs in the family?