1. You can now help support WorldwideDX when you shop on Amazon at no additional cost to you! Simply follow this Shop on Amazon link first and a portion of any purchase is sent to WorldwideDX to help with site costs.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
This forum does not allow a single user to have more than one username. If anyone wants to change their username contact an admin and it will be done. Multiple accounts belonging to the same member will be deleted without warning.

Whoever said good fences make good neighbors, didn't live next to family!

Discussion in 'Announcements & Open Forum' started by G GOLLY WAlly, Sep 6, 2020.

  1. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    The base station is on hold for the moment, my wife has finally decided she's had enough of her family's stupidity and we're moving. She's been boxing things up, talked to the realtor she's dead serious this time. We're the outcast of the family for some reason, don't know why and really don't care. I'm just ready to move and they can sit here and fight it out amongst them selves, we have a our eye on a house and five acres about an hour away from here. Its been 25years of someone in our business, or mad about something we've said or done, it's always something. I'm not holding a grudge or harboring any bad feelings I just want to get away from all of them, if they want to bitch and gripe fine, just leave us out of it. But since they can't seem to do that or maybe they just don't want to, we're just leaving and they can do whatever. It will just be nice to set outside and not feel like all the neighbors are talking trash about us.


     

  2. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2015
    Messages:
    3,889
    Likes Received:
    5,763
    Family system dynamics doesn’t run on content, per se, but by actors “acting” a particular way to keep the system running.

    Some systems are healthier than others along a spectrum.


    When they don’t act in a way prescribed, the system gets strained. Overcompensates.

    Think, passing around a hot potato where everyone isn’t satisfied if they don’t get burned. But complains they got burned.

    The illogic is a strange attractor.

    Pressures from outside the family (defined group) aren’t being released (de-pressurized).

    Families are hierarchies.

    Men & Women aren’t equals.
    Nor are Parent & Child.
    Ever.

    Lateral associations (Cousin) tend to make or break.

    FWIW, GGW, most all of us have in our backgrounds cousins of degree we’ve never met, much less associated with to solve problems of local society. Up/Down is fairly fruitless in a hierarchy, action takes place among peers.

    When society breaks bonds of what is proper (what works, warts and all) the family is dashed on the rocks after that shipwreck.

    The lateral associations outwards were age-related. School, or Church. Then they divide again on age as to marriage & childbirth. Last, to men’s occupations. Then Civic and Social. The family was a mirror of that larger scene. Had it’s own rules (to keep peace).

    De-pressurization was on those lines where ones associations with others outside family channeled that energy in a fruitful manner. Family was an energy-node.

    Television is prime culprit for acceleration of dissolution. The Silent King at household center. Always has the last word whether On or Off; “content” not relevant. Presence alone, is enough.

    TheNet makes this worse yet again.

    A hierarchy is where Pater Familias speaks for those assembled. Men go to war to protect it. Women — at its center — are freed to welcome Spirit into all & everything. The Hearth.

    The Destruction of The West (is along these lines).

    Moving a short distance away (but keeping TV at center) just starts the process again. Eventually. As they aren’t (weren’t) the problem.

    It’s a respite. Use it well.

    Diagram how cousins act in concert outside. (Age-related, then by sex). All men don’t have to be members of the volunteer fire department, or women of Sodality, yet there ought to be that which asks them to give of themselves.

    Who it is, “Speaks for the Smith Family”, is a harder nut to crack. But vital. Tradition-based communities will fare much better in the oncoming unrest (the Amish, etc) as members are free to act to full capacity. Men, as men. Women, as women. Roles.

    Templates.

    We made a point to build seminaries to educate some men to act as pastors. Proficient in language(s). Families may wind up in opposition. It’s a skillful pastor can trace the boundary lines between them to satisfactory fencing.

    A sermon indirectly on this points to men their responsibilities, and to women, theirs. (The hymns, unite).

    Church takes us from our smallest irritants to our grandest conceptions. All of us fit within a way of seeing. Of hearing. (United, we stand).

    Mainly,

    One is blessed in his or her duties.
    (Not otherwise).

    Find that and the dross falls away.



    I’ve a hard time getting my son to understand that Citizens Band
    is the little doorbell a Cousin has just rung.

    It’s a net draped over an area: Lateral.

    Families (energy-nodes) are the knots.

    .
     
    #2 Slowmover, Sep 6, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2020
  3. sp5it

    sp5it Master of puppets

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,708
    Likes Received:
    1,736
    First thing after getting married was to get own place to live. Living with family, no matter how good wasn't an option.
    Mike
     
  4. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    When my father in law bought the 90 acres years ago he offered everyone 5 acres, they all declined, claiming they didn't want to live in the sticks. We thought great, we'll take him up on it since the rest of her siblings claimed they wanted nothing to do with it, and we won't have to worry about her siblings living near us. Wrong!! About 2 yrs after we built our house the rest of them thought, what a great idea and the next thing you know we have two of her brothers for neighbors. That's when it started to go down hill, one seemed to make it a point to show up once a month to spew his displeasure of something me, my wife or one of my kids had said or done. The other just covertly made several of my dogs disappear ( 4 dogs ) and pretty much complained anytime he felt I effected his life's ebb and flow. He and his wife have since moved, and the nephew bought his house, not an improvement in the last few months the police have been out here, none are allowed on my property, nor am I allowed on any of theirs, the sooner we can move the better. I'll have to elaborate on some of these things in the story time thread, while typing this I thought some of these happenings make for a story, don't get me wrong I'm not totally innocent, may have said and done some things but you can only put up with so much, and now we've had enough.
     
  5. Tokin

    Tokin 42Zero Tampa

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2019
    Messages:
    1,511
    Likes Received:
    2,607
    People who mess with my dogs disappear, family or not.
     
    Mudfoot, 357magnum, Rwb and 5 others like this.
  6. d4xycrq

    d4xycrq Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    19
    Agreed.

     
    Rwb, Slowmover, G GOLLY WAlly and 2 others like this.
  7. Tallman

    Tallman W9WDX Amateur Radio Member, KW4YJ EXTRA class

    Joined:
    May 1, 2013
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    5,871
    My #2 brother pulled the same trick on my father. Got him to move in and buy the land next to his. A land grab no doubt in my mind. Dad had complained to #2 about his "Wolf Pack" being dangerous. Pop always liked the little Dachshund breed of dogs. Well dad was taking his coffee on his deck and his doxies were present. The wolf pack attacked killed one of doxies right out and maimed the other to the point where it needed 1500 stitches and survival was still sketchy. Well it died and pop was wanting to sue #2. Brother #2 and pop were setting on the deck seeing if they could work it out. Reaching an impasse #2 called his wolf pack over and shot and killed 4 of them right off the bat. He stood up and said "Problem solved?" That was the last time they talked.
    Good lethal electric fences make good neighbors Family or not.
     
    357magnum, Rwb, Slowmover and 3 others like this.
  8. Christopher17

    Christopher17 2ET703

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2019
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    240
    Have plenty of family that aren't blood, have relatives who aren't family , don't waist my energy on their drama , sadly your senerio is a common one , my situation I would have pressed charges, sheriff says verbal agreement has no merit , they still owe me 20,000$ , I stand my ground and they learned to avoid me
     
    144inBama, 357magnum, Rwb and 2 others like this.
  9. old goat 321

    old goat 321 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2015
    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    256
    I love my dog more than I love some family members.
     
    144inBama, 357magnum, Rwb and 4 others like this.
  10. old goat 321

    old goat 321 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2015
    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    256
    6b9dc407093a1996681789286a5a49cf-1.jpg
     
  11. TM86

    TM86 Sr. Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2014
    Messages:
    576
    Likes Received:
    677
    Best decision I ever made was moving to a state where neither I nor the XYL had living relatives within 300 miles. Getting away is quite possibly the best thing you can do for your marriage and your mental health.
     
  12. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    I know I said I'd elaborate in the story time thread, but since I started this I might as well put it here. I know 99% on here have never met me in person, but I'm known as the nice guy, if you ask ten people of their opinion of me 9 are gonna say I'm a nice guy. I try not to rock the boat, and bite my lip more than I probably should so I feel a lot of people take me for a pushover until I've been pushed to far then they see the side they never realized I had, and you can see it on their faces, it's like this jaw dropping disbelief of what in the heck happened to this guy and why is he acting all crazy??? So big mouth brother in law shows up for his monthly visit about 9 PM one night, and I met him in the driveway told him if he came here to complain I was gonna beat his a##. So he gets out to bow up and we're standing nose to nose, he expected me to back down, but instead I looked in his one good eye and said if you want to fight I suggest you start swinging, but I promise you're gonna leave here totally blind, if you doubt I'll go for that good eye you're sadly mistaking, so I suggest you get you're fat a## in you're truck and go home. That stopped the monthly visits. I realized my other brother in law the dog killer never seemed to lose a dog from his pack, so when I got a new pit bull puppy his daughter came over to see it ,and asked what kind of dog it was ,I replied she's a pitt she said daddy's not gonna like that. And I said, when you go home tell your daddy if this dog comes up missing, I'll come over and kill every dog he owns, and surprise, surprise I never had another dog go missing from then on. But the straw that broke the camel's back was when a horse I had at the time got in his pasture and he beat him until his eye was swollen shut. I got no respect for a man that will beat an animal ! Anyway I can see him walking across to my house and I could tell he wasn't happy, he barged in the back door ranting and raving and without saying a word I just started out the door over to his place and he's running his mouth the entire way, then I see my horses eye, that was it , I looked around and found the stick he used and started walking towards him and he all of sudden asked what are you doing? And I screamed to the top of my lungs I GONNA BEAT YOU LIKE YOU BEAT MY HORSE!!!!! I was so mad my entire body was shaking, so after I called him everything but a white man I finally told him the only thing stopping me is that I know if I start beating you I'm gonna kill you, if any of my animals get on your property don't you dare touch em, call me and I'll take care of it!!! After they realized the scronny 18 yr old they once new grew up and had had enough of their crap they don't mess with me, now they resort to talking trash behind my back or posting on social media, they won't do it to my face.
     
  13. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2015
    Messages:
    3,889
    Likes Received:
    5,763

    You ain’t related to these people.

    X-out my earlier long post about dynamics.

    (Well, not really. Them critters are off the scale. Times get bad they’re just gonna be worse. And they’re working up the “justifications” for that right now).

    Get that base station up at the new place and you’ll have neighbors (cousins) worth knowing. Many.

    That’s plain as can be just from what you write.



    .
     
    #13 Slowmover, Sep 6, 2020
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2020
  14. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Messages:
    395
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Well Slow, the plan is to look at the house in person next week, and you bet I'm gonna check out the neighbors.
     
    357magnum, Slowmover and Rwb like this.
  15. Tallman

    Tallman W9WDX Amateur Radio Member, KW4YJ EXTRA class

    Joined:
    May 1, 2013
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    5,871
    My run in with brother #2 came after the "Great Dachshund Massacre."
    We agreed to meet at my dads house #2 said as long as I was unarmed he would meet if my dad was not present. I said sure. First thing you need to know when dealing "Dirty Cop Brother #2" Is he will always lie to you to get the upper hand. If he gets that upper hand be prepared to have you face rubbed in the dirt or whatever degrading excrement he has. Knowing this having dealt with him as a peacemaker roll before I was armed. So was he. He was even kind enough to bring a throw down gun for me. He carried a thrown down while on duty.
    For those of you who do not know, a throw down is used when you shoot an unarmed suspect and you know it was not justified. Just throw down the extra gun brought along to give your self justification for shooting an unarmed suspect.
    Often you will hear the suspects relations say he did not even own a gun! That's the truth. Up to that point they did not.

    He tried to bully me right from the start telling me how this was going to go down. He reached out and tried to grab me by the neck. A pistol stuck in his face stopped all of that bully bullshit. I told him this is how it is going to go down, Dad's place is going up for sale on the open market and if he does not get fair market value, You will pay the difference. The sheriff has been informed that the property is vacant and of your threats to "Burn it down rather than allow him to sell out." If you want to purchase the house and land on the open market do not expect a family discount. Our other law enforcement relatives think we should press charges against you for animal cruelty and terroristic threatening. Nothing else was said. Dad came in from the back room and he was armed too. Dirty cop almost crapped his pants. Well that's the last time I saw dirty cop. He was plenty brave on the phone, but in person would not talk at all.
     

Share This Page

  • About Us

    The WorldwideDX Radio Forum was originally established in 2001. We pride ourselves on welcoming Radio Hobby enthusiasts of all types, while offering unbiased, informative, and friendly discussion among the members. We are working every day to make sure our community is the best Radio Hobbyist's site.
  • Like us on Facebook

  • Premium VIP Member

    The management works very hard to make sure the community is running the best software, best designs, and all the other bells and whistles. Care to buy us a beer? We'd really appreciate it!

    Donate to us!