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Drugs.

Discussion in 'Announcements & Open Forum' started by 2NC995, Feb 23, 2020.

  1. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    Very OT...but something plaguing me.

    Has anyone had to deal with a loved one hooked on drugs?

    It’s been a while now, and things have come to a head. I have little faith in the resources available. Don’t know what to do.


     
    G GOLLY WAlly, S&W357 and 357magnum like this.

  2. sp5it

    sp5it Master of puppets

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    Must reach deep bottom to get better.
     
  3. Mudfoot

    Mudfoot Elmer

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    Currently dealing with it. My first advice must be followed and that's not to enable. Once you do, you are doomed. Only thing that got her help was getting pulled over while high and caught with pills.

    In all my years as a Paramedic, I've known hundreds of addicts. Most will only accept help when they've hit absolute rock bottom. Many times, they don't make it that far. At first, I enabled. I stopped that a few months back. I wish you luck. It's torn my family to shreds.
     
  4. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    Thanks, Fellas.

    Worst feelings I’ve ever had.
     
    G GOLLY WAlly and 357magnum like this.
  5. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    I had a hard time clicking “like”...I don’t actually like what you said, but I appreciate the truth.
     
    G GOLLY WAlly likes this.
  6. Mudfoot

    Mudfoot Elmer

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    Once that shit gets a grip, it doesn't let go. Court ordered Vivitrol treatment is the norm in my area. My County is mostly Conservative. They didn't care to help until only last couple years. Now we have more options for treatment.
     
    G GOLLY WAlly and 2NC995 like this.
  7. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    I’m dealing with someone who will put ANYTHING into their body.

    Doesn’t matter...if it alters the mind, then it must be the ticket.
     
    G GOLLY WAlly and 357magnum like this.
  8. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

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    Al-Anon. The literature is outstanding.
    The meetings & felowship even more so.

    Though it may take quite a while to see that.

    What is written below hasn’t anything to do with
    anyone but you (and all others like you).
    Not the addict or alcoholic.

    I (we) can’t control them.
    We can only learn to temper ourselves.

    Drug addiction has differences from alcoholism. But the reactions of others — in the main — are the same. It’s a barrier we didn’t ask for any more than the drink took the drunk. There’s a honesty involved you already know the outlines. My reaction, and not their actions (is now the problem).

    Depending on where one lives, AA may be more accessible and longer established than NA. IMO, for this purpose I’d avoid any groups of AA or NA which are institution-associated. As noted above, it’s prison (not jail time) or death which prompts the user/abuser. Those at the bottom of society’s ladder don’t fare well. Those at the very top share with them that consequences aren’t real. It’s for those in the middle who value life on life’s terms.

    The door isn’t shut to anyone. We will know this when we are moved to
    ask a group member for their sponsorship. Their experience, strength & hope. As was given you, freely give.

    Those in recovery so motivated to start their own fully independent AA/Al-Anon, etc, groups are the gold standard for your actions. Allow me that you don’t want the massive ski lodge “group” with courts sending malefactors to “attend” meetings. You want the climbers hut far up the slope. Size isn’t relative. Principles, not personalities, is the guide.

    Men afflicted cannot face losing career. They’ll get off the down elevator. Women, family. Punch the button. Past this things get harder as those social ties aren’t easily broken. Once they are, things become bewildering. For everyone. Expect the unexpected.

    Attend to your own condition via the above. My advice is worth what you’ve paid, but, . . you can safely lay every dollar you have on the approach. Ronnie Raygun was Prez when I got started.

    Success is learning to live life on a spiritual basis.
    (Yes, I mean “you”; that you that is anyone with these lead-filled shoes).

    The addict & alcoholic have their own path. Should it someday lead to your front door (reconciliation), please trust me that the way is now so overgrown with bramble that Rin Tin Tin himself couldn’t get through.
    (It’s not the wood in the other man’s eye, . . . . )

    Tools for living with 85-years of success.
    Al-Anon World Services.

    It’s long-term or nothing, friend. You’ll be shown tools and
    how to use them. They’ll take shape as scythe and sickle.
    You’ll again be the boy learning mastery of such.
    But they are of a composition not found in a smithy.

    You’ll also learn that most give up before halfway through.
    Addict & Famiy have equal burden. Time to ruck.

    That (only then, tools readied) shall the truth set us free.

    Not for nothing did you pose the question here. (Not for nothing did I just three hours ago reflect on the love I received thus by two who have passed)

    Not for nothing you bought all those microphones
    Assume that the switch is faulty, sure, and
    the assembly poor. But IT IS one of them will someday
    bust the pile-up as you speak aloud the words the Angels
    sealed at your birth.

    This is the Lords Day.
    Rejoice, and be glad in it.



    .
     
    #8 Slowmover, Feb 24, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2020
  9. Blackcat630

    Blackcat630 Sr. Member

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    I have been dealing with this for years. Mother in law has been deep down the hole of prescription pills for 25 years. After trying to help someone so many times it becomes useless. She is a great lady and is very smart. She has a lot to offer and could really have a positive impact on the world and the people around her but she chooses to not change. My wife and I try show her love and support but still have to distance ourselves from her for our children's sake. We are both in agreement that she will never get better until she accepts the fact she has a problem and she TRULY wants to make a change in her life... we cant do it for her... we've tried many times..
     
  10. Tallman

    Tallman W9WDX Amateur Radio Member, KW4YJ EXTRA class

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    One thing I will tell you it is their choice to use and whatever the result becomes it is still their choice. You can't hold yourself responsible for the outcome one way or the other.
    All you can do is offer them your hand as friend, parent, husband or wife. If need be you and the health care providers can stage an intervention if they feel the timing is right.
    Be very careful because they sound suicidal. My prayers to my friend.
     
    Crawdad, G GOLLY WAlly and 357magnum like this.
  11. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    Yep, my son as been on and off meth for about 12 years now. He's stolen from friends, family, and anyone else he could.
    I can honestly say it's cost us a small fortune about $ 130,000 that I know of and there's no telling the amount of money that I don't know about. He's been clean about a year and a half now but I'm always on guard because he was clean 7 yrs then jumped off the wagon. And I say jumped because like Tallman said he made that choice not me or anyone else, I used to get mad at my wife because she's a terrible enabler then I realized I was one too. I enabled her to be able to enable him. The last time he destroyed a 34 thousand dollar pickup and dropped it in our lap made her see the light, it only took about 4 vehicles to see the light. And like I said I enabled her so I'm at fault too, so now we're on the same page and the banks been closed. If he asks us for money the answer now is no, unless he says he needs food she buys the food doesn't give money to him. He's working but he still needs to grow up, he's had entirely to much help when you don't have to take responsibility for anything you do wrong there's no need to grow up. But since he's had to pay his on way on fines, court cost, and mistakes were starting to see improvement. Its about time he'll be 38 in April.
     
    357magnum and Shadetree Mechanic like this.
  12. Shadetree Mechanic

    Shadetree Mechanic 808 On The North Side of Dover

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    Our neighbors adult son was on this track. They ended up kicking him out because he was a hazard to their foster children. The next week he overdosed and the girl he was with did not get help. She drove around with him for 2 hours trying to figure out what to do. Then she dropped him off at someone else's house. That person called his father, his father went there and did cpr. Paramedics arrived and there was nothing they could do. The girl who gave him the stuff and then did not help him could not be procecuted. There is no law that says a person has to help someone in need......
     
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  13. Captain Kilowatt

    Captain Kilowatt Professional Amateur
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    REALLY!! In a situation like that up here that is called criminal negligence causing death and IS a chargeable offence. In fact if the girl that gave it to him was also the one that failed to get help she could also be charged with manslaughter but that would likely be plea bargained down to secure an admission of guilt on the negligence charge.
     
  14. Shadetree Mechanic

    Shadetree Mechanic 808 On The North Side of Dover

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    There might be more to it but that's what I was told.
     
  15. 357magnum

    357magnum Sr. Member

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    Here's my story , 5 years ago in my best friends driveway waxing his boat to put it in the water . He's a Highly Trained Paramedic off duty in our town that day , our scanner tones ring " 18 year old male 10-99 . I got a phone call to come home , my wife was in Hysterics , our Nephew was dead . He had been in & out of rehab centers , family ( his own parents ) wouldn't take him after he got out . He lived w/ My wife & I for a while , he wouldn't help himself . He posted a pic one night on FB of him doing a Keg Stand , He had his rule when he lived w/ us . I had no option but to tell him to leave . He went to live w/ my 81 year old MIL , stole her car totaled it , stupid enough to leave the front plate on the scene & park the totaled car back in her driveway . But as he was Od'ing , they smoke all his cigarettes , cleaned his wallet out & left him to die . Drugs do :censored: up things to people & yes they had Narcan back then ! I live in a small town & haven't seen any of these people yet , but someday I hope I get to confront them ... God Better be watching over them ! I saw this post , brought back a lot of memories , almost didn't type a thing , but people be on this ! Most states have Laws if they are harmful to themselves ,you can have them committed ! Been There Done That ! Maybe it will work better for someone else , until you have to go through the Heart Break I deal with Daily . 73 & God Bless , Leo
     

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