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STORY TIME!!

Cads

Our high school church group was out at Lake Dallas one fine Sunday for waterskiing. The adult church member with the tow boat had a heavy Vee-Hull and big V8 engine. He was easy enough on the girls, but on us, ha!

Most of us had plenty of experience with the various ways of getting dragged around by a boat, and some were VERY good in all of those. A lot of fun.

Well, at one point those of us back on shore waiting next turn (lamenting the lack of beer; we were legal and the church didn’t proscribe it, but the outing did) noticed a guy about 40-something backing a nice new open-bow 21’ down the ramp with an equally-new triple-black Fleetwood Cadillac.

Cadillacs were in an amazing abundance in Dallas in that era. Plenty of our fathers had them. Mercedes and all barely existed. That longer wheelbase model was nearest the top.

And we were (all of that group) MORE than familiar with launching boats. Bigger than what this guy had sometimes. Our Dad’s threw us the keys in those years and said to get it done. Take the rig for service. Get that boat off one lake and launch it at another lake, the rest of us will be there later. Get camp set up. Etc.

Boat trailers. Travel trailers. Stock trailers. A pretty good range of types. The lessons on each are still clearly etched.

Well, this Caddy Man was having trouble. We sort of watched from our football field distance without staring. His wife and kids weren’t help, they were hindrance. How far into the water was his problem.

It became too much. We put on our shirts and went over to offer to do the job for him. He ought to toss his wife & critters into that sampan and clamber in after them. We’d do the rest. (Any of us could do it blindfolded). Then park Black Beauty with trailer in the shade and wave them off to fun.

Hey (elbow jostle) we might even get a beer out of it.

And it won’t hurt we’ve got a few bikini lovelies tagging along.

I’ve rarely seen a guy act as offended as this guy. We were NOT expecting that reaction. Maybe a gradation of help on offer. (Nope. No, sir).

We went on back, the sun lower in the afternoon sky.


Y’all will just never guess
to the second how long
AND
to the yard how far
a Cadillac Fleetwood will float.

Clue: The hood ornament will stay dry.

So, we swam out to the boat now drifting into the current, started it (three of us otherwise swimming it back) then took it around to the public dock so kin & kindred would hush up.


You know, I still can’t believe the way we even once took those bikinied girls for granted.

Had known some lifelong. Beauty, they possessed, and the sophistication to tailor — to a fine point — manners for any event. Hair all done up, or loosened and shaken free.

On our return those waiting gazes performed the thanks stoic duty doesn’t require. To say we’d have died in unquestioned defense of any of them doesn’t quite capture the tone of the teasing they gave us. Knowing it.

We’d only done as was expected of us.

Reassured that the (non) boating family was okay — and with faces averted from what was now past — the walk back became those little barbs aimed at us in light quiet laughter.

5F3E6B71-2B3D-4070-8743-95F91365782F.jpeg

You already know the passengers I'd feel honored to chauffeur to church one fine Sunday morning. A beautiful spring day like today. Top down, and towards our promised future.

My best to you and yours this holiday.

May Laughter be the Light.
And the Quiet, as Music.


.
 
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Slowmover, I had a buddy in high school and his dad bought him an 80 or 81 Cadillac Coupe Deville, triple black, wire spoke rims, dual climate control I thought it was the coolest car a 16 year old kid could have. I remember cruising Broadway, jamming out to RATT and thinking we're bigtime! Or at least I thought we were, he got his dad to trade it for an 81 Formula Firebird T-top about a month later. When he showed up with the Firebird I asked what happened to the Caddy? He said it wasn't sporty enough, I told him he should've put some Craiger rims on the Cadillac and kept it. O well, it was fun while it lasted. :(
 
Slowmover, I had a buddy in high school and his dad bought him an 80 or 81 Cadillac Coupe Deville, triple black, wire spoke rims, dual climate control I thought it was the coolest car a 16 year old kid could have. I remember cruising Broadway, jamming out to RATT and thinking we're bigtime! Or at least I thought we were, he got his dad to trade it for an 81 Formula Firebird T-top about a month later. When he showed up with the Firebird I asked what happened to the Caddy? He said it wasn't sporty enough, I told him he should've put some Craiger rims on the Cadillac and kept it. O well, it was fun while it lasted. :(


Stock appearance. Right down to whitewall tires.

Shoulda dropped in a hotted .030-over 500-cid with 1971 heads & cam. Quiet dual exhaust and the 3.21 gears from the limousines. Trans shift kit. Police suspension upgrades from the F-41 Impala.

300HP to the ground E-Z.
Well above 500 Lbs/Ft torque.

All Torque All The Time

Those Firebirds were dogs.

Had (have) a friend took this route. Different brand. No burnouts. No dumb doggy stunts. Blinding shine to the paint. Looked like it came off the showroom floor a few months ago.

Just quietly made all his gasoline money (and a fair amount of beer money) by making fun of poseurs in jacked-up Camaro's.

This boat, he told them (a grandmothers car) would wax the road with theirs.

Worked.

.
 
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Stock appearance. Right down to whitewall tires.

Shoulda dropped in a hotted .030-over 500-cid with 1971 heads & cam. Quiet dual exhaust and the 3.21 gears from the limousines. Trans shift kit. Police suspension upgrades from the F-41 Impala.

300HP to the ground E-Z.
Well above 500 Lbs/Ft torque.

All Torque All The Time

Those Firebirds were dogs.

Had (have) a friend took this route. Different brand. No burnouts. No dumb doggy stunts. Blinding shine to the paint. Looked like it came off the showroom floor a few months ago.

Just quietly made all his gasoline money (and a fair amount of beer money) by making fun of poseurs in jacked-up Camaro's.

This boat, he told them (a grandmothers car) would wax the road with theirs.

Worked.

.
I bet that sucker would fly, cause I thought that Cadillac my buddy had moved on down the road and it was 100% stock.
 
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I bet that sucker would fly, cause I thought that Cadillac my buddy had moved on down the road and it was 100% stock.

The 425 was de-balled.

The 472/500 didn’t weigh a whole lot more than a Chevy 350. Also didn’t rev past about 4600-rpm. With a plan to best utilize those, it would be FUN!

Bob Norwood shoehorned one into a black/silver 76 Seville (with the police Chev Nova 9C1 mods).

By reports, it was awesome.

.
 
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On the way home from West Virginia, I had been on the road way to long and driving way to fast. So I was scooting along pretty fast, when I realized to late that one of the vehicles I was passing was a Missouri Highway patrol in an SUV. Well I knew I was busted so I just continued on, he whips in behind me, hits the party lights and I pulled over as soon as I had a chance. He walks up to my truck and says how you doing today? And I replied pretty good how you? He said fine, can I see your drivers license. So I hand him my license, and he asked what's the rush? I said I'd been working in West Virginia and was just trying to get home. He said you do realize that you were speeding don't you. And I said o yeah I was definitely speeding, he said you think it was a good idea to pass me going 90 miles an hour? I said no sir, it was a horrible idea, but by the time I spotted you I was fully committed to pass the whole group of those cars and figured it's to late to stop now, and If I'd a slowed down that would have just made me look even more guilty. He just kinda shook his head and asked if I had any tickets on my record, and I said no, he ran my license and came back a little later and said I'm gonna give you an early Christmas present, just keep it around 75 and be careful. I thanked him a wished him a Merry Christmas, and headed on to Oklahoma. I think when you're just honest with the police, sometimes they cut you a break. That's not the first time that happened.:whistle:
 
  • “Too long
Too fast”

Takes but once, brother

1,000-miles is two long days on the road with no problems. 500-miles/day is enough.

I make it happen by planning all stops in advance. Then execute each leg separately.

Early start to the day, and an early stop.
12-hr day, overall. 0400 to 1600 is how I do it.

Getting there (has meaning).
“How fast”, doesn’t.

IOW, the really bad drivers (95%) have no situational awareness. Believe they’re traveling a particular speed VERSUS the reality of traffic volume (weather), etc.
(Zombies).

Being a football field away is too close. (Adapt)

Find the space between the packs.
Back down 10 to get them gone.
Otherwise they’ll form around you.
Absorb you into the hive mind.


The goal is to arrive fresh and ready to fight.

“Whom shall I send?
Whom shall go for us?”
“Send me, Lord”.

If you’re tired when you arrive home, you didn’t do it well. (When others were depending on you).


The beauty of our country means that each day is fresh. It is not yesterday nor is it tomorrow. “See” it with both eyes open. Exclusive focus on the concrete is poor judgment and skill. (See it all. “Know” the geography of place. Leave the big road with preparedness).

Don’t let the soul-less suck you in.
Frantic, unprepared, stupefied.
Terminally too fast for conditions.
Incapable of mindfulness.
(Don’t use their excuses).

My little family depends on me.
As does yours.

(You’ve got luck, homes. Spend it wisely.
IMO, you just spent $1,600 for $85 of value).

As always, a great story told in an inimitable style!!

.
 
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  • “Too long
Too fast”

Takes but once, brother

1,000-miles is two long days on the road with no problems. 500-miles/day is enough.

I make it happen by planning all stops in advance. Then execute each leg separately.

Early start to the day, and an early stop.
12-hr day, overall. 0400 to 1600 is how I do it.

Getting there (has meaning).
“How fast”, doesn’t.

IOW, the really bad drivers (95%) have no situational awareness. Believe they’re traveling a particular speed VERSUS the reality of traffic volume (weather), etc.
(Zombies).

Being a football field away is too close. (Adapt)

Find the space between the packs.
Back down 10 to get them gone.
Otherwise they’ll form around you.
Absorb you into the hive mind.


The goal is to arrive fresh and ready to fight.

“Whom shall I send?
Whom shall go for us?”
“Send me, Lord”.

If you’re tired when you arrive home, you didn’t do it well. (When others were depending on you).


The beauty of our country means that each day is fresh. It is not yesterday nor is it tomorrow. “See” it with both eyes open. Exclusive focus on the concrete is poor judgment and skill. (See it all. “Know” the geography of place. Leave the big road with preparedness).

Don’t let the soul-less suck you in.
Frantic, unprepared, stupefied.
Terminally too fast for conditions.
Incapable of mindfulness.
(Don’t use their excuses).

My little family depends on me.
As does yours.

(You’ve got luck, homes. Spend it wisely.
IMO, you just spent $1,600 for $85 of value).

As always, a great story told in an inimitable style!!

.

Well Slow, I was guilty of lot, on the road to long, driving to fast, and tired. But the one thing that really surprised me, was how close that trooper was to the semi he was behind. I mean I couldn't have squeezed my little Nissan Frontier in between them, if that truck would have hit the brakes, he was a dead duck. But that still doesn't justify anything I was doing, I should have stop and slept a little while, I'd been driving about 12 and half hours when he stopped me.
 
Well Slow, I was guilty of lot, on the road to long, driving to fast, and tired. But the one thing that really surprised me, was how close that trooper was to the semi he was behind. I mean I couldn't have squeezed my little Nissan Frontier in between them, if that truck would have hit the brakes, he was a dead duck. But that still doesn't justify anything I was doing, I should have stop and slept a little while, I'd been driving about 12 and half hours when he stopped me.


There are no good drivers left.
That includes them.

Borg-absorption.

Get a good antenna install into that trucklet. You’ll hear your brothers when it matters. I know I do.


.
 
The shoe was on the other foot, and she didn't like it!!! The wife and I Went to Attwoods the other day to get some electric fence material, and we want to replace some of the landscaping materials in the front of the house so before we left I wanted to look at some lava rock and landscaping paver's. When I started looking at everything they had she suddenly reverted back to her childhood and started complaining about how long I was taking and how expensive things were and why was I looking at stuff I wasn't going to buy, so I turned and looked at her with a smirk and said, This ain't Walmart, this is Atwoods ! And all those times I've stood in silent anguish while you look at clothes you're not going to buy you could at least do the same for me. She only did part of that, and it wasn't the silent part. Then she said, Well I look at the stuff on clearance! (There's that lie again ) and I said, you always wondered how people make their homes look so nice, well they spend money on em. Just like they say about CB radio, you want to play, you got to pay. She didn't find that as amusing as I did for some reason (n)
 
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This happened a few hitches back. We stay off location so we were making a 10 minute drive to the rig and back everyday. My driller was catching a ride with me, he gets in my truck one morning and we head out to the rig after a few minutes he says my stomach ain't feeling to good. About 30 seconds later he says I need to unbutton my pants, then the next thing I know he's straightened out stiff as a board his butt isn't even touching the seat and he says very ergently pull over! I can't make it! So I pull over in front of a driveway we're out in the country so the house couldn't be seen from the road. He asked if I had any toilet paper I said no and he said I'll just cut off my sleeve, and he hot footed up the road about 20 yards. I suddenly remember I had a partial roll of toilet paper stashed in the door pocket in the back of my truck, so I jumped out grabbed the toilet paper and ran up to him yelling don't cut your sleeves! I found some paper! He's hunkered up on the side of the road, we make a quick hand off and I high tail it back to the truck and wait. Then I hear the rumble of a vehicle coming down the gravel road and I started to laugh thinking there he is on the side off the road blowing it up and they're gonna see him:ROFLMAO: A few minutes later he comes back and I asked him if the person in the car saw him hunkered up on the side of the road? He said no I was able to get a little further off the road before they got up to me, I hope I didn't step in anything I left out there! Me too! Cause you're in my truck!!! He said Wally your my favorite, my wife wouldn't even bring me toilet paper when I had an emergency when we were turkey hunting, I'll probably never forget you! And I said I'm pretty sure I'll never forget you either! We laughed the rest of the way to work.:ROFLMAO:
 
My daughter showed me a video of someone in a dinosaur costume face plant, and it brought back this memory. I can't believe I had almost forgotten about this but then again I was 13yrs old when it happened, so it's been a while. IF we had IPhones back in the day this would have blown up the internet!
Like I said I was 13 yrs old, growing up I spent a lot of time at the local skating rink. Starting at about 8yrs old until I was 11, I was in a skate club that competed around the the southern states in figure skating, just like you see the ice skaters doing except we were on roller skates. Our rink had shut down and the club disbanded and a new skating rink had opened and our old coach was helping it get started, so he called some of us to come out and give a hand working the skate counter, conssesion stand and anything else they needed. They were doing a Grand opening promotional and during the skate session we would take turns wearing a bear costume and they would have certain age groups of kids skate after the bear and the first one to tag the bear got a free drink from the concession stand. This rink had no wall along side the concession stand just a 5 or 6 inch step up to the platform that the concession stand was built on. So it was my turn to put on the costume and have the kids skate after me, so they line up about 14 or 15, boys and girls 9 and 10 year Olds and off we go. I started skating staying just out of reach while taunting and teasing them ,then I got cocky and I turned around and started skating backwards waving my hands and arm's taunting and teasing away. Well the bear head of this costume was really big and I was really skinny. Anyway we had made about three rounds around the floor and those little suckers could skate so we had picked up a pretty good pace, I knew I was getting close to the concession stand so I turned back around to skate forward but that big ol bear head DIDN'T!! I couldn't see a thing!! I hit that 6 inch step up, went flying bear head first into an empty table ( thank God) I knocked the table over, chairs went flying the bear head went flying and I raised up just in time to see everyone of those little turkey's in mid air about to dog pile me. They're all screaming I GOT HIM!!! I GOT HIM!!! The whole rink exploded into gut busting laughter including me. After they all got off of me, they couldn't determine who actually tagged me first so they all got a free drink from the concession stand. If it wasn't for that big ol bear head cushioning the blow I probably would have gotten a concussion when I hit the table:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I laughed so hard trying to tell this story to my daughter yesterday, I could barely get the words out :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 

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