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STORY TIME!!

Discussion in 'Announcements & Open Forum' started by 2NC995, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    Now is the time to tell your story to the best audience: WWDX friends!



    From the time your mother in law farted at Thanksgiving dinner, all the way till the time you lost three fingers when your table saw “malfunctioned”.

    WWDX is full of story-tellers, so let’s hear it!!
     
    WECSOG, S&W357, Woody-202 and 2 others like this.

  2. TheRealPorkchop

    TheRealPorkchop Certified Sith Pimp

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    This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in...

    Oh, it’s not that kind of story time. Sorry.
     
  3. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    I’m ok with the completion...hahaha.
     
    Slowmover likes this.
  4. TheRealPorkchop

    TheRealPorkchop Certified Sith Pimp

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    I stuck a flute in my backpack and refused to take part in band camp, least the band part anyway.
     
  5. Shadetree Mechanic

    Shadetree Mechanic 808 On The North Side of Dover

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    Probably a good thing, I can't picture Vader playing the flute.... Haha
     
  6. TheRealPorkchop

    TheRealPorkchop Certified Sith Pimp

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    This chest piece is pretty fly, it’s got a hook up for external accessories such as straws, a kazoo or harmonica and also a flute attachment.
     
  7. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    Here’s one...no real plot...just kinda weird:

    Sometime in the 1990s...I’m a young kid out at night fishing with a buddy. We decide to take a long forest road through the national forest. For perspective, it’s very wide, dead flat, straight and DUSTY. Probably 2 or 3 am. We’re cruising along in a Chevette at probably 50 mph...dust everywhere and can’t see a damn thing.

    All of a sudden, a figure emerges in the headlights. The brakes are slammed...we slide left, then right, and come to a stop with the guy standing right in front of the car, having never moved as we approached haphazardly. He’s a clown. Literally. Polka dot baggy pants, big rubber nose, face paint and curly rainbow colored hair. Miles from anywhere!

    He presses us for a ride, but it was damn weird. He’s like a zombie...probably on drugs. We pass on the ride and get back on our way.

    A few miles later, still cruising way too fast and trying to shake the chills, we lock up again...sliding all over, before coming to a stop dang near touching a car stopped right smack in the middle of the road.

    All the doors are open, the hood, the trunk, the works. We reluctantly get out, armed with nothing but a kerosene lantern, and check the situation out. Another clown is passed out in every single seat...four of them! As we try to wake a couple we realize they’re all in the same level of stupor as the first clown, and don’t want to be woken.

    Shaking off the weirdness again we hop in and split...headed for the fishing spot.

    We laughed and joked and speculated...never could make much sense of it.

    Next morning as we pass back through...the five clowns - by now nearly to town - pushing the car.
     
  8. 357magnum

    357magnum Sr. Member

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    Dan had to bring up farting ? Here's one of my story's . We sat down for supper as a family when I was about 12 ( Yes people did that back then every night :) ) I let a big stinky one rip ! Of coarse my younger brother was laughing ! My Dad said what do you say " ? My reply .. " Hold your nose ? " After the swift back hand I received I never did that again @ the table !:whistle:
     
  9. undertaker

    undertaker Undertaker

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    I cleared out a car wash lobby one time The worst fart ever!!!:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: and the lady at the register blamed one of the employees I laughed my ass off outside of course!!!
     
  10. Redbeard U812

    Redbeard U812 WDX-1030 / U812 South Texas

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    Riding in old Chevy pickup with bench seat coming back from deer hunt, my uncle Spike was so pleased with his new deer scents he decided to open a couple of em up. Daddy was driving and ran over a pothole, we were on our way to the ceremonial burger stop at LeBlanc's, Spike had the skunk out and spilled it all over the dash and himself.

    It was damned cold, I was stuck in the middle. Daddy was driving with his head out the window, and Spike refused to roll the passenger side window down. He only had a white T shirt and camo pants.

    Dad really didn't want to stop before, but now it seemed mandatory. We rolled up to Leblanc's and crawled out the truck gagging. Dad and I hurried inside to evade the stink while Spike was trying to locate the top to the skunk scent.....he didn't want to loose any more of his precious Pepe LePew aftershave.

    We got our orders in quickly, then as we were trying to find a way out "before" Spike made his way in, he was swaggering in with a big grin and stated he had found the lid.

    As Spike walked up to the counter, we cautiously made our way to the back wall, no where to hide, one way out. Talk about stink!

    Well, the wonderful smell then permiated the entire dinner, patrons were gagging, grabbing their food and children like the place was on fire. Mrs. LeBlanc approached Spike to take his order.....

    "Hi, Spike......Can I take....Oh My God, what is that smell!"

    Gagging she backed up covering her nose. Her eyes were watering. Though she was gonna loose her stomach. Spike calmly started to place his order while me and Daddy slipped out.

    Mrs. LeBlanc was back against the grill pointing "Out!". We are then laughing safely surrounded by cold fresh air. Spike hung his head and proceeded out only to be stampeded by hysterical patrons trying to exit the stench.

    Mrs. LeBlanc gathered herself and came outside to take Spikes order. He stepped forward and she immediately told him to stand over yonder, about ten feet away, which obviously was not far enough due to the way her eyes were watering and the look on her face. We were rolling by then, gagging too.

    She got his order, then firmly instructed Spike that under no circumstances should he enter the dinner, and that they will only bring the food out after he has gone over to the adjacent parkn lot to wait.
     
  11. Blackcat630

    Blackcat630 Sr. Member

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    357magnum likes this.
  12. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    It's a good thing I don't take myself to seriously because I'm always accidentally doing something stupid, so I just laugh at myself and go on. Back in the 80s there was a drive through only burger joint called Graffitis, and the drive through was set up kinda odd both the entrance and exit was on the same side of the building. My wife and I were in town and she wanted to grab something to eat that was quick and we could head on home. So I suggested Graffitis I had eaten lunch from there a few times since the factory I was working at back then was just a couple of blocks away. So I pull in and drive up to the window and stopped, I noticed the 4 or 5 employees inside were looking at me like WHAT THE H??? And thats when I realized I had pulled into the exit. So this girl walks over still looking confused and asked if she could help me, I hold my finger up and said wait a minute and I'll be right back. So I pull on down to the little squawk box and it takes me like 6 tries to get this tank of Delta 88 turned around so we can order, by this time my wife has figured out that I've screwed up, she's embarrassed and pleading for me to just drive off and I'm like no I've come this far I'm getting something to eat. So I push the little button and a voice says welcome to Graffitis may I help you? And I said yes for starters you need to put a BIIIIIIGGGG sign at the entrance so idiot's like me don't pull in the wrong direction, then all you can hear is hysterical laughter coming out from the speaker. My wife looks at me and says they all probably think you're drunk, and I'm like I don't care I'm hungry. So I place my order, then she realizes she's going to be on the side that has to hand over the money and take the food and looks at me and said I'm not getting the food, and I said you have to. So when we get to the window their all still laughing and wiping tears from their eyes and the girl says y'all are the first ones to ever do that, my wife hands her the money and says really loud THAT'S BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS A MORON!!! NOW GIVE ME THE FOOD SO WE CAN GET THE H#@* OUTTA HERE!!! I think she chewed my butt the entire 20 miles to the house. :ROFLMAO:
     
    WECSOG, 357magnum, Slowmover and 2 others like this.
  13. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    I've got more stories to come, like I said I'm always doing something stupid.
     
    357magnum, Slowmover and 2NC995 like this.
  14. 2NC995

    2NC995 DAN

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    Being ‘em on G Golly.

    I need some serious laughter in my life!!!
     
    357magnum likes this.
  15. Mudfoot

    Mudfoot Elmer

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    357magnum and G GOLLY WAlly like this.

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