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STORY TIME!!

Discussion in 'Announcements & Open Forum' started by 2NC995, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    Screenshot_20200416-165631_Pinterest.jpg I went to school with the son of my daughters headstart teacher, so she new what to expect from me. So on with the story. when my daughter was in headstart they were to make mobiles using coat hangers and yarn. They cut out pictures of things they recognized in magazines and hung them from the yarn on the hangers, similar to the pic of the mobile I posted. Well one day when my daughter and I were home it was to quiet so I figured she was up to something, sure nuff she was in the bathroom and had her mommas pantyshields out and stuck them everywhere, the door, the cabinets, the wall and herself. I said Paige, don't play with those your momma needs those. And she asked what are they? I said pantyshields. She asks, what's she do with them? And I said, she puts them in her panties so she don't get poop stains in them, she was satisfied with the answer so problem avoided, or so I thought. A few weeks go by and it's now time for the headstart open house. So my wife, daughter and myself walk in to the headstart classroom and I instantly spot my daughters mobile, it wasn't hard because they had them hanging from the ceiling and only one had a big picture of playtex pantyshields hanging from it. So then Ms Brenda walks up and says hello Sherri, hello Wally, did you see our mobiles? And I said yeah they're really nice. Then she says, did you see your daughter's? And I said, yeah I'm pretty sure which one is hers. Then she explained that they cut out pictures that they recognized and put them on their mobile, she said I noticed Paige cutting out a picture of pantyshields and I asked her if she new what they were? And she said yep. Then I asked her if she new what they were for? And she told me, yep my momma puts them in her panties so she don't get poop stains in them. She said as soon as that popped out of her mouth I new where that came from, it had to be Wally. And then my wife looked at me and said why did you tell her that? Well what else did you want me to tell her? I thought it was a good answer up until now.:D


     

  2. Shadetree Mechanic

    Shadetree Mechanic 808 On The North Side of Dover

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    Now just imagine the stories you would have to come up with if you worked in the factory that made them... HAHA!
     
  3. Redbeard U812

    Redbeard U812 WDX-1030 / U812 South Texas

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    I'm sure everyone has seen how television misrepresents things, no this ain't political, just how these advertisement folks dream up ideas. These ideas sometimes become real to those who aren't so bright.

    Soooo.......let me tell you about my sister,

    Growing up in a family consisting of yours and mine will result in conflicts of all types, and fights, animosities, jealousy, and plain dumb ass kids. That was us. We kids fought all the time, could not believe on another, or even trust. Was like a house of thieves.

    My step daddy moved us out to the country where we could either stay out of trouble or kill each other, and after a spell, I believe the latter was preferable. He figured since he had grown up on a farm in Indiana he could pass on some good farm experience to us. Gardening for instance. Then came animals, chickens.

    We started by building a small 10'x10' coop, then a larger pen made from 2"x4" welded wire around some trees. My brother and I worked hard at that, probably the first time we actually tried to do anything working together. My sister had been away with her mother in Florida, we had to go back and kidnap her, but she was back and the next morning we find her out by the coop. She asks what it's for and we explained chickens. she throws a temper tantrum and starts fighting with us, literally. Saying that ain't for chickens, it's for rabbits and Daddy is gonna put rabbits in there. Whatever, Judy!

    She loved the Cadbury Bunny soo much, she wanted a bunch of them.

    She runs inside to plead with her Dad for rabbits. My brother and I are over working on the pen laughing about it. Rabbits. Ha! We'll just eat those! We always shot rabbits, and Judy always ran off crying. She comes back out because her Daddy told her to go out and help us. Judy starts acting like she's the boss, not working out well with us. Saying all this was for rabbits. Sure Judy, ok. We had it! So we started talking rabbits.......hehehe! How we can cook 'em, skin 'em, pull 'em apart by the legs.......That worked....she ran off bawling. LOL. Never to help us again, good. Pain in the ass.

    We get some chickens from a nearby farmer and proceed to chicken ranch. My step daddy decided to use the coop for Bantams, took him awhile but got them. It's months later and we are out spitting into the pen watching the chickens eat it, they'll eat anything. Judy comes up and asks what we are doing? We are suspicious, she's being nice. She never came out to the coop since she didn't get her way and get rabbits.

    She wanted to know if the chickens had "Laid any babies" ?
    We explained that chickens don't "lay babies", they lay eggs.

    Off on a tirade she goes again......demanding that chickens lay babies. No, Judy chickens lay eggs and they hatch. Screaming at us that chickens "lay babies" gets my step daddy's attention and he comes out because the d@mned kids are fighting again. He jumps all over my brother and I for messing with Judy again. Huh?

    We finally get her shoed off and explain to him what all the commotion was about. He started laughing, we started laughing. That's when Judy got mad, again, and throwing things. Daddy got her settled down with a good butt whoopin, and after the supsuppin subsided he tried to explain to her that chickens lay eggs.

    "But Daddy, the Cadbury Bunny "lays Babies"!" :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
     
  4. 357magnum

    357magnum Sr. Member

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    Quite a few years ago , my Niece & Friend visited my small farm ( She was 8 then now a PC Grad & works for Merril/Lynch ) , Yup it was a awhile ago . She found a Duck Egg on the ground , I put it under 2 Small Bantam hens , They hatched it , cared for it till it got to big for their pen . I let " Chickie " loose & tried to put him in the H20 w/ the other Ducks . Nope ! That ain't happening ! He lived to be almost 8 years old , would not go in the H2O & hated Ducks ! Stayed with his " Chicken Kin " .:ROFLMAO: Stay Healthy & Safe ! 73 & God Bless , Leo
     
  5. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    Screenshot_20200510-213920_Gallery.jpg
    Back in high school I was 6ft 1, and 110 lbs
    And rocking an awesome mullet. I suppose my thin stature and wardrobe choices drew a lot of attention usually someone wanting to fight. if you've seen the movie Footloose, that pretty much describes my high school experience, no joke our school was run by a minister that didn't believe we should have dances and I even drove a 67 VW Bug, and I was the new city kid that moved in. This particular Saturday night I was hanging out in the Poteau Food parking lot where anybody that was somebody would soon cruise through. I had on my 501 button fly Levi's my baby blue button up polo shirt and my dexter boat shoes without socks and of course my bandanna around my neck. (The bandanna idea came from a Def Leppard video and the polo and dexter's were actually cheap knockoffs) anyway while minding my own business I hear hey d!@k head! I look across the parking lot and there's this guy looking and pointing at me, so I've had enough I headed towards him and hollered ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? and he yells again HEY D!@K HEAD! So I'm walking over to him thinking I'm gonna stomp a mud hole in this guy and walk it dry, but the closer I get the thicker and darker his mustache keeps getting. buy the time I get to him his grown a couple of inches and aged a little bit too, he looked to be in his early twenties and I'm seventeen, skinny as a rail and my attitude had changed quite a bit after I had gotten up close to him. I then asked him very politely what did you call me? And he leans over, gets right in my face and says sternly I CALLED YOU D!@K HEAD! And I said I thought that's what you said, but I couldn't really hear you very good way over there. He kinda grins at me and says, that's the best excuse I've heard in a long time, you want a beer? And I said yeah if that's what it will take to keep you from beating me to death, I'll take one. So i hung out a little, drank my beer and went on my marry way. If I had a dollar for every fight I got out of I'd be fairly well off right now.
     
  6. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

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    Man-Love. Ain’t it a wonder?
    (Been there).

    By which I would indicate lonely recognition of Self in another.

    .
     
    G GOLLY WAlly likes this.
  7. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    My wife is 5 yrs older than me, the first time I ever saw her, she came to my high school with the barber school to try and recruit some of us to attend barber school after graduation. Never dreamed I would marry the 23 yr old girl cutting hair 4ft in front of me. And now the rest of the story.
    She got married when she was a junior in high school and divorced by the time she was 20 yrs old, her first husband was her high school sweetheart and an idiot, don't get me wrong, I never had a problem with him, it's just that if you're still getting arrested at age 50 for the same stupid things you were getting arrested for at 16, you're an idiot in my book. We had been married for about 3 yrs, and were driving down the highway when up ahead I see someone riding a mini bike on the shoulder of the highway. this mini bike was one of those with the balloon tires, and had a set of ape hanger handle bars, you know the kind where your hands are above your head when you've got a hold of them. So anyway we pass him and I'm thinking he looked familiar, so I kinda turned my head toward my wife and asked, was that who I think it was? And she sort of rolled her eyes and sheepishly said yes, so I waited about a minute or two and asked, are you glad that you married me and that you're not with him anymore? And she said yes. So I waited a few more minutes and said well you're lucky you're married to me, you know why? And she asks why? And I said well just think about it, if you were still married to Dean you'd be on the back of that hog dear. She laughed and and said will you shut up!:ROFLMAO:
     
  8. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

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    It gets no better, GGW. Thx

    When dignity is forever sundered.


    A0073FC8-485A-4FCD-A439-7875F9C8772D.jpeg

    .
     
    #53 Slowmover, May 17, 2020
    Last edited: May 17, 2020
    G GOLLY WAlly likes this.
  9. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE!!! except his was blue.
    I said in an earlier story that her ex didn't set the bar very high, so I'm pretty much golden. :D


    You should have seen the look on her face the time we were watching the 6 o'clock news and they gave a close up of her ex loaded up in the back of a cop car smiling like a opossum.
     
    #54 G GOLLY WAlly, May 17, 2020
    Last edited: May 17, 2020
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  10. 357magnum

    357magnum Sr. Member

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    GGW , Those bars on that seem set pretty high to me ! Sorry had to go there ! :whistle::rolleyes:o_O:ROFLMAO: Stay Healthy & Safe ! 73 & God Bless , Leo
     
    Slowmover and G GOLLY WAlly like this.
  11. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

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    Tell your Mrs for the rest of us, that, we understand about a blank palette.

    Over time the paint from life’s experience adheres. (The Good).
    Mixed, and remixed.
    New colors & old.

    Depth,

    Shade,

    Tone.

    (Soul, revealed).


    But that boy’s is Teflon.


    .
     
    #56 Slowmover, May 17, 2020
    Last edited: May 17, 2020
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  12. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    He's no longer on this earth, Drugs and dumb decisions finally caught up to him 2 or 3 years ago.
     
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  13. Shadetree Mechanic

    Shadetree Mechanic 808 On The North Side of Dover

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    Dang it! I know people like that and all I can do is shake my head.
     
  14. Slowmover

    Slowmover Elmer

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    But he’ll be back. Not an old soul, at all.

    Don’t sign any adoption papers.

    .
     
    G GOLLY WAlly likes this.
  15. G GOLLY WAlly

    G GOLLY WAlly WDX 719 / Waldo on AM

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    I remembered this when I went to the lumberyard the other day. Back years ago I had to get some ready mix concrete so I go to the lumberyard, tell them what I needed, then drove my truck out back to get my concrete mix. But when I get back there some guy in a Cadillac was already there and he's getting ready mix concrete too. He pops the trunk and walks to the back of his caddy and opens the trunk, it's dressed out with black carpet, and I'm thinking this probably isn't a good idea, well the young kid trying to load up his concrete puts the first bag in the trunk and of course some residual concrete mix ends up getting on his carpeted trunk, caddy man goes into full jerk mode and starts talking to this young kid like he's an idiot, then turns and looks at me like can you believe this? And I'm just quietly looking on thinking to myself self, what fool drives a caddy to the lumberyard to get ready mix, and think his trunk is going to be unscathed? So then caddy man gets all huffy tells the kid get out of the way! Then reached into the trunk to take the bag out but he didn't pick it up high enough and it caught on the trunk latch and ripped the bag completely open and dumped all the concrete mix into his trunk. That's when I got to laughing and couldn't quit, that made caddy man so mad he threw the ripped bag on the ground, slammed his trunk shut and drove off like he had just robbed a bank. Still chuckling I gave the kid my paperwork and said that jerk got exactly what he deserved, he agreed and got my concrete mix, then asked you want the rest of that other guy's concrete mix he still had two more bags he didn't get? I said sure might as well, so I got a good laugh and two free bags of concrete mix. Some people, I just don't know about.
     

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